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What Weighless members hate about the program

Photo by Ashin K Suresh on Unsplash

Last night, I huddled with a half dozen members of our year-long program for one of our monthly small-group coaching sessions. We shared what was working and what we were finding challenging. There were moments full of feeling and there were raucous bursts of laughter.

As I looked at the circle of faces on my screen, I was filled with appreciation for these wonderful human beings: showing up for themselves and for each other, making time and space to push beyond the easy “solutions” (that never really work) and into that less familiar place where actual change happens.

The theme that emerged last night was one that runs through much of the program–how much more effectively we can respond to our needs (and desires) when we take the time to get clear on what we REALLY need (and want).

“See, this is what I HATE about this program,” one of them suddenly burst out. “And what I LOVE about it!

“There are other programs that will just give you the answer to any problem you bring up. Just ‘do this’ or ‘don’t do that’. But you guys always want to look at it more closely, and dissect it and figure out what’s really going on. And that’s what’s ultimately going to make real change happen. I know that’s true–even when I’m frustrated because you won’t just give me an easy answer.”

. . .

There seems to be a moment in every meeting where time momentarily stands still. That moment when I think to myself, “How did I get so lucky to be able to do this for a living?” And this was the one for me last night.

So there you have it: Full disclosure. This is what our members hate (and also love) about this program. We have no pat solutions, no easy answers, no one-size-fits-all formula.

We have a method, a process, tools. We have the magic that happens when people come together to support one another on a shared — yet unique — journey. And the treasures we discover along the road to weighing less are sometimes nothing short of miraculous.

“The 12-month commitment put me off”

We recently checked in with some of the people who decided NOT to join us in the Weighless group that began earlier this month. We know there are a lot of reasons that people might decide not to do the program.  And we wanted understand more about those reasons, in case there’s something we can do to address them in the future.

A few people mentioned being reluctant to commit to a year-long program. Which is ironic. Because one of the things we hear from those who are nearing the end of their year (and often long before then) is that they don’t want it to be over.  It’s over too fast.

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

The truth is that the year you spend with us in the Weighless program will pass so quickly…just like every year seems to.  (Am I the only one who can’t believe it’s almost time to put up the holiday lights again?)

The difference is that when this year is over, something big will have changed.  You will have a completely different outlook, a new set of habits, a new relationship to food, your body, your thoughts. A new community and set of tools.

Was that true for you this year? Last year? The year before that?

There are people who have been thinking about doing this program for years.  Maybe some of them felt like a year was just too long to commit to. And yet, here they are all these years later still looking for a solution.

Big goals take time

You’ve probably heard us talk about how important it is not too lose weight too quickly. (And if you haven’t, here’s more on that.) But that’s not really what I’m talking about.  The bigger goal is changing our thoughts, habits, and behaviors.  That takes time–especially if you want those changes to last.

One of the biggest advantages (and differences) of the Weighless program is that it gives you the time you need to do this. To figure out what works and then figure out how to make it sustainable. To stumble and learn how to recover instead of give up.

But that’s not how we’ve been trained to think about losing weight. We just want to get it over with as fast as we can…because it’s darned unpleasant.

But what if it wasn’t so unpleasant? What if instead of a few weeks or months of dieting/deprivation (followed by a few week or months of relapsing/regaining) you signed on for a year of  exploration, innovation, and creativity, resulting in a sustainable and enjoyable lifestyle that  allows you to weigh less. Permanently?

Here’s an idea

It’ll be at least six months before we launch another cohort.   If by then, you’re happy with your progress, we will be the first to celebrate with you.  (Really, I mean it. Be sure to let us know so we can cheer you on.)

But if six months from now you’re still more or less where you are today, then maybe a 12-month commitment would be exactly what you need to move foreward.

(P.S. It’ll be over before you know it!)

What our members lost this year

In a few weeks, we’ll be saying farewell to another group of Weighless graduates. These are the folks, remember, who began their year-long Weighless journey just as the world entered a global pandemic shutdown. 

Some of them were front-line workers: health care professionals, teachers, essential service providers..  Some lost their jobs. Some had their adult children move back home. Some got — and recovered from — Covid. 

Suffice it to say, the year was not without its challenges.  And yet they persisted. Many, in fact, expressed how grateful they were to have a structure and support that helped them rise to those challenges without sacrificing their goals or self-care.

And speaking of goals, 64% of those who finished the program lost more than 5% of their starting body weight. (25% lost more than 10% of their starting body weight!)

And that wasn’t all that was lost. They also lost bad habits, negative self-talk, and a host of other unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.

If you’ve ever wondered if you have what it takes to become someone who weighs less, I hope you’ll take their triumph as inspiration. None of them were any stronger, or smarter, or less stressed or busy than you. They just showed up and did the work. And look what they have to show for it!  (What might you have to show for it a year from now if you made the same leap?)

New Year’s Intentions

It’s a new year–and a time when many of us like to set intentions for things we’d like to do or achieve in the coming year

But for members and alumni of the year-long Weighless program, this process feels a lot different than it used to. The reflections they’ve been posting this week in the member’s forum have been so inspiring to me–I  have to share some of them with you, too: 

“I have not had a New Year’s resolution related to weight since I joined. I’m still working on the healthiest me I can be, but there’s no big change to dread. Just keep on moving forward.”

“What a mindset change this program is! While I still have health related “goals”, they’re more like things I want to explore and additional habits I’d like to experiment with. So the goals end up being more like mindset shifts and habit changes rather than simply hitting a number on the scale by any means possible.”

“I realize looking back just how much I have changed! My outlook on health, eating, and activity is VERY different it was 2 years ago. and for the better.”

“I liked starting the new year with things already going for me and knowing that I will keep adding as time goes on. I also know that small changes that build upon things that are already in place have the chance to be permanent.”

“I was able to take on a 30-day yoga challenge and aspire to reading one book a month in 2021–because I don’t really need any new tools for weighing less.  I already know them and know I can lean in a bit more when I feel like I’m not making progress. It’s more of a habit than a resolution.”

I particularly love that last one, because it underscores how much energy we can free up for other things when we stop focusing on losing weight and start learning how to weigh less.

If your goal for 2021 is to lose weight, it’s not too late to convert that into a goal of becoming someone who weighs less. We’re here to help.

Three Ways Weighless Can Change Your Life

From the outside, the Weighless program probably looks like a weight loss program.

But it is so much more.

Every day we hear from our members that the skills and tools that they are learning aren’t just changing the number on the scale:

This work is changing the way they live and think, how they communicate with others, how they show up at work and with their families, how they understand their own motivations and behavior, even their goals for the future!

Here are a few of the ways that the Weighless program can change your life and not just the number on the scale.

#1. You will finally have your own back.

So often, when we struggle with our weight, it feels like we are literally at war with ourselves. We sabotage our progress. We make choices that know are moving us away from our goals. We are our own worst enemy. The worse we feel, the worse we treat ourselves.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are a just few of the notes of that we’ve gotten from our members:

“I have never felt so confident in my ability to take care of my own self and my own needs. It’s actually impacting several areas of my life and I am so so grateful. I have lost weight, but more important is the perspective, skills and confidence I have gained. For the first time in my whole life I don’t feel like I’m my own worst enemy. I’m proud of myself”  Zahra H.

“When I started the program, I was praying that I could get control over my food thoughts and choices. I was always thinking about what I was going to eat next. I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I felt like I had no control. Fast forward to today where the grocery store holds no fear for me thanks to this program. It has totally changed the way I think (or don’t think) about food. I routinely walk past food that once had so much power over me. Today I had a realization about how far I have come. I feel normal and not alone and for this I am truly grateful.”  Terri J.

“Instead of making food choices in order to lose weight, I’m now making decisions that improve my health So my resulting weight loss feels like a welcome side effect to my food choices. It’s a pro-health and pro-me approach to food and life. This non-diet, this Weighless approach, has been free from the backlash, setbacks, binge eating and guilt that has plagued me with diets.”   Gila G.

“I have benefited enormously from your program and especially the discussions, support system, encouragements and ideas from the group.  I have lost almost 10% fairly easily and have become a much more mindful and self aware non dieter.  I have found strengths I did not know I had. I never could have gotten here on my own and I am very grateful for your program.”  Fran W.

#2. Holidays and vacations will no longer be a source of dread and anxiety.

“Can I lose enough weight before we leave?”
“How much weight will I gain before its over?”
“How can I stick to my diet with all this temptation?”
“How can I enjoy myself if I’m trying to stick to my diet?”
“This will probably erase all the progress I’ve made and put me back at square one”

These are the kinds of thoughts that vacations and holidays often dredge up. To the point where you don’t even look forward to them anymore.  Again, from our members:

“Yesterday when I got home from being gone for the holidays, I stepped on the scale. I’m the same as when I left 2 weeks ago! A surprise, considering the haphazard schedule and occasional treats. Then it hit me. I’ve shed the yo-yo dieter skin. Last year and every previous year since God created the earth I’ve started some crazy new diet come the New Year. Not this year. I’m happy. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m on the path that will take me there. Thanks, everyone! Happy New Year!”   Beth G.

“I made a goal that I would not gain weight in December. I just got off of scale and am down 2.4 pounds! I ate cookies, participated in family events and a holiday party at work, and bypassed countless doughnuts at work, ‘weighing less’ on the last day of the month. Yay me and this wonderful program!”   Louanne S.

“One of my favorite things about this program is that I do not dread special events.  I’m not waiting to start a diet until all the planets align and there are no special events on the horizon.  I have navigated weddings, vacations and holidays without obsessing over food choices.”    Ellen L.

“I leave to visit my family in Ireland tomorrow. In the past, I would set myself up to fail by resolving to lose 10 or 15 lbs – usually in the 8 weeks prior to a trip like this. The weight loss never happens but the stress and anxiety and feeling of failure leads to the “what the hell” and then you gain a few more pounds!! I am glad to say that thanks to the changes I’ve made in this program, I have not been stressed and I feel  confident that I can enjoy my holiday without feeling deprived.”   Jackie L.

#3.  You’ll have more energy to deal with the rest of your life (not less)

When we’re not happy with our weight, it’s tempting to put other goals on hold until we solve that problem.  Which never gets solved. And so, life stays on hold. In the Weighless program, it’s exactly the opposite. Instead of everything staying stuck, everything starts to move in the right direction.

“The thing that amazes me most is how enjoyable this new lifestyle is. I don’t feel deprived, or like I’m having less fun (which is what I expected). If anything I feel more energetic and joyful. I would never have believed it 6 months ago.”  Kate T.

“Life has been been chaotic the last few months, but I discovered the Weighless principles work no matter what is happening, especially as they become a way of life. I’ve learned so much from Monica, Brock and all of the wonderful members of this group!”  Kathy M.

“Over the last two years, I have gone through some crazy health and family issues, I’ve gone through the mid-fifties dramatic hormonal changes, I’ve traveled a great deal, I’ve been through physical injuries that have limited activity. In the past, I would have easily added 20-30 lbs. Not any more!  I have discovered life in a whole new way. I am eternally grateful to Monica, Brock and our wonderful community for this journey of discovery.”   Manju S.

“The me that is emerging is calmer and more confident. I feel peaceful and easy about my Weighless future.  Nothing needs to be a big deal anymore. It’s very freeing! I think the best part is that a lot of these little philosophies are creeping into other areas of my life as well.”  Lisa C.

Gosh, I didn’t mean for this post to go on for so long! There are so many other things we could tell you about what it’s like to weigh less.  But hopefully, we’ve at least managed to convey that the Weighless program is more than a weight loss program.

If you’re looking for a permanent and proven solution, a chance to put dieting behind you forever, and to experience a completely new relationship with yourself, we would love to work with you.

Details on enrolling in our next year-long program are here.

Related:

8 ways to know if Weighless is right for you

Our curriculum

Weighing Less Two Years Out

You’d think losing weight would feel GREAT!  And it does! But it can also feel scary. 

We see this all the time with the people we work with in the Weighless program. They start to see the number on the scale going down, and along with the happy dance, there’s a shadow of panic or dread.

After all, most of them have lost weight before. And then gained it back. So, it makes perfect sense that they are afraid to trust it. It’s like Charlie Brown getting ready to kick the football. Will Lucy yank it away at the last minute, like she has every other time? 

And that’s why, of all the success stories we have to share, it’s the letters from our alumni that mean the most. 

Two just came in recently.

Sam wrote: 

“Since finishing Weighless at the end of 2018, I have continued to follow the practices. My weight continued to go slightly down for another 2 months and since then I’ve been maintaining, within a couple of pounds, even through a really stressful period at work.” 



Zahra was a member of the same group as Sam:

“It is two years since I started Weighless and I thought an update might be of interest 
I am almost 30 pounds lighter than I was two years ago but that is not the biggest thing. First and foremost, I have the healthiest relationship with food and my body that I have ever had and I am so, so grateful for that.  Weighless was the single greatest investment in myself.
 
If you’re ready to finally change the end of your yo-yo dieting story (and finally kick that football!), we hope you will consider making this investment in yourself. 

Stop looking for the perfect diet

Starting a new diet requires optimism.  Especially if you have a long history of failed attempts. (And most of us do.)

We have to convince ourselves that this time will be different.  Otherwise, why even bother?

One of the ways we muster that optimism in the face of so much damning evidence is to focus on the details of the diet itself.  Maybe our past attempts failed because we hadn’t picked the right diet.

But if you are overweight, the real problem is not your diet.  Lose all the weight you want on whatever diet regimen you choose. If you haven’t fixed the underlying habits and mindset, you are almost certain to regain the weight.

A study published in the International Journal of Obesity found that overweight adults who lost weight through focusing on changing their eating and movement habits (as opposed to following a certain diet) were more likely to maintain their weight loss for up to 12 months.

“Maintaining weight loss is often the hardest part of the weight-loss journey,” researcher Gina Clea says, “yet it was successfully achieved by our participants on the habit-based programs, without the need for dieting or strenuous exercise.

This is exactly what we see with our members. Although we certainly talk about food and movement, there is no prescribed diet or exercise program. We focus less on what you’re eating and more on how and why you’re eating it.  We work on dismantling that dieter’s mindset and creating the habits and mindset that lead to weighing less, permanently.  (Here’s what that looks like.)

And it’s working! Just last week we got a note from one of our members who started the program in January 2018. By the end of 12 months, he’d lost 10% of his starting weight. Even better, he’s now kept if off for an entire year! It’s exhilarating to witness people finally break free of destructive yo-yo dieting patterns and discover what it’s like to weigh less.

It’s enough to make an optimist out of you.

This kind of effort feels easy

One of our members just had a big A-ha moment I have to share with you.

She was reflecting on the fact that making Weighless choices requires some effort.  Awareness takes effort. Planning takes effort. Making decisions takes effort.

(Fortunately, we have an entire curriculum of tools designed to help you build and strengthen these skills and practices.)

But, she realized, the Weighless approach does NOT require a lot of willpower.

“The effort I’m investing in weighing less feels EASY because there’s desire and passion behind it. Using willpower, on the other hand, feels torturous and lasts shorter periods.”

That’s why relying on willpower never gets you very far…or at least not for very long. And why the sort of shifts experienced in the Weighless Program are so long-lasting (and far-reaching).

As another of our members recently shared:

For me, the difference in this program from other “diets“ is that this is the first time I’m truly focused on myself and my habits rather than the food. It’s not about saying goodbye to things I really like but learning how to incorporate them in an overall healthier way that leads to satisfaction…and a Weighless life.

How about you? Can you sense the crucial difference between the willpower required to lose weight and the kind of effort that it takes to become someone who weighs less?

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40 pounds in 30 months

One of our charter members just reached a huge milestone: Jeanne has now lost more than 20% of her body weight since beginning the Weighless program in July 2017. And all without a single day of dieting.

How did she do it? I’ll let her tell you in her own words

“My Weighless journey actually started when I did your Nutrition Upgrade program in March 2017. It was an incredible reset after giving birth and not paying attention to my diet for a couple years. I lost ten pounds from that March until July when Weighless started. And you can see my log since then:

“I’ve lost a similar amount of weight previously in my life and then gained it back. For a while I was really worried that it could happen again, but I really believe that this time is different because of the tools and awareness I’ve gained.

“My Weighless habits are 100% ingrained and it’s effortless to continue living this way. I love how strong I feel. I can’t thank you and Brock enough for your guidance the past couple years.

“It’s been LIFE CHANGING and not just on the scale.”

Why not start making progress toward your goals today?  The 30-Day Nutrition Upgrade program that kick-started Jeanne’s astonishing accomplishment (almost 40 pounds in 30 months!) is happening now. All the details are here.