How to

The Power of a Craving Reboot

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When I was younger, I worked for a division of the Government in IT. In that crowd, there is a running joke that almost any computer issue can be resolved by “turning it off and back on again.” And all joking aside, it really does work… a surprising amount of the time. Seriously, give it a try next time your computer, phone, tablet or even TV is giving you grief.

The American author and poet, Anne Lamott, also wrote that “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Which is a key point in her TED talk called “12 Truths I Learned from Life and Writing” which I encourage you to check out.

This restarting strategy is very similar to something we teach in the Weighless program as a way to outwit random food cravings. And no, it doesn’t involve you having to go and take a nap everytime you get a craving for [insert default food here]. It simply involves taking a break from the situation that caused the craving in the first place.

Many conventional diets will simply tell you that you are not allowed to have that food (or will try to sell you on a substitute version) but in Weighless we prefer to be both a little more forgiving and more realistic in our advice.

We know the strength of willpower but we also know its weaknesses – so whenever possible we prefer to take it out of the equation.

So, instead of using a ton of willpower (if you have any left at this point in the day) to resist that urge, we suggest instead to make a deal with yourself to simply take a break for 10-ish minutes and remove yourself from the location or situation that kicked off the craving. Restart your inner CPU, as it were.

Then, the second part of the deal with yourself is that if you still have that same craving after 10-ish minutes of letting your brain reboot, follow through and go ahead and enjoy a sensible amount of that treat. But, and this is important, you REALLY take the time to enjoy that treat!

Don’t eat it distracted.

Sit down, focus on the treat, and enjoy the heck out of each bite until you are satisfied.

You know what? Honestly, more often than not after the restart, our members generally forget about the craving and move on with their day. And even if they don’t, the anticipation, the ritual and the mindfulness of eating that treat with no distractions makes it more enjoyable and often they find that just a few bites is all they required.

Try this strategy next time you find yourself with a random craving and let us know how it works for you. I bet, like my crappy old MacBook, a restart will make all the difference.

What Makes a Workout?

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Photo of an old time gymIn an episode of the Second Wind Fitness podcast, I gave a brief history of the gym (or the “health club” as it was known). In my research, I discovered that it was in about 1977 that the majority of the population slowly started to be introduced to the idea that gyms were a place that you could go to “get fit.” But it didn’t really catch on until the 1980s.

I was 6-years-old in 1977 (and honestly didn’t step foot in a gym until the 1990s) and yet, many of you reading this and many of my peers still have the idea that you can’t get fit if you can’t afford, don’t like, or don’t have time to get to the gym. Or more recently, don’t have a Peleton, treadmill or visit a yoga studio (real or virtual).

Interesting, eh? It really didn’t take us very long to somehow lose our innate ability to maintain our own fitness without outsourcing it to someone or someplace. And never has this lack of understanding been so pointed and obvious as it has been during this current viral lockdown.

Everyone and their dog is currently sharing their workouts on social media, asking people like me to teach some workouts they can do at home, and online workout services are gaining more traction than ever because of this lack of understanding of how to stay fit on our own. And I am not trying to shame anyone. This is a good and natural reaction but …

Give a person a workout video and they are sweaty for a day.
Teach a person how to exercise and they are fit for life. 

So, I want to make it simple for you. Are you ready?

The three criteria that a movement needs to fill in order to qualify as an exercise are:

  1. Raise your heart rate (a little or a lot)
  2. Challenge your muscles (a little or a lot)
  3. Move your body beyond your comfort level (a little or a lot).

That is all.

Here’s an example: let’s say you are carrying the laundry basket up some stairs, how can make that into an exercise?

  • Go up the stairs quicker or two steps at a time,
  • add more weight to the basket,
  • hold the basket in a different way than usual,
  • go up some of the stairs sideways.
  • Boom – you are exercising! And getting the laundry done!

Now you may be thinking, “that sounds too easy, what if I am more fit than that?”

Well, there are three factors that need to increase to create fitness, and they are:

  1. Distance
  2. Duration
  3. Intensity

That is all.

Here’s an example of this: let’s say you have been carrying that same laundry basket up the stairs for a few weeks and it is feeling easy now. Then you could:

  • increase the intensity (by adding more weight to the basket),
  • you could increase the distance (by going up and down the stairs a few times),
  • you could increase the duration (by taking each step slower and more controlled).
  • Boom – you are getting more fit from the same task!

Sure this is overly simplified. There are a lot more factors you can add in (like which body parts you want to develop) and more considerations that are fun to focus on (learning to do a pull-up) but when it comes to doing nothing (because you feel so lost) and doing something simple like this (because let’s face it, we all need to do laundry during the pandemic) I would choose this every time!

Self-care for stressful time

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I don’t have to tell you that we’re living through some particularly stressful times right now. And for many of us, eating is a tried and true response to stress.

I take that back. It’s certainly well-tried. But is it really true? Does eating relieve the stress? Only for a moment, at best.

It obviously doesn’t do a thing to change the circumstances. And often, it piles on more stress in the form of regret, self-judgment, or other negative consequences.

One day–and hopefully soon–the current crisis will have passed. Things will get back to normal. The stock market will recover. We’ll go on with our lives. And when that happy day comes, let’s make sure we’re not 10 pounds heavier!

Better stress management skills would probably help. Unfortunately, most of us don’t start thinking about learning how to manage our stress until we’re virtually incapacitated by it. And trying to master a relaxation technique in the midst of an anxiety attack is a little like trying to read the instructions on the fire extinguisher when the kitchen is already on fire.

If you’re seriously stressed out, sitting down to meditate or practice yoga or do a body scan–if it’s not something you do regularly–may leave you feeling even more stressed.

I’d like to suggest a two-step approach.

#1. Leave a note for your future self. “Dear Self, now that everything has calmed down a bit, and it doesn’t feel like your hair is on fire, wouldn’t this be the perfect time to sign up for that meditation or yoga class, listen to that online course on stress reduction techniques, or create a daily relaxation routine?”

#2. And starting today: practice precovering. Instead of waiting until you’re feeling stressed to start looking for a release valve, find ways to pre-release the pressure. Make a little extra time for activities that you find relaxing and calming and use these as a way to “precover” from the stress that each day is sure to bring. Even 10 or 15 minutes a day of effective self-care can make you more resilient.

The difference between numbing and relaxing

Let me also share an insight I have learned the hard way. Distracted is not the same as relaxed. Numb is not the same as calm. Ice cream, Netflix, Chardonnay, and eBay are all great ways to distract and numb. They are not great at generating peace and resilience.

Don’t feel like you have to stick to the cliches. Bubble baths and lavender oil may not be your cup of (herbal) tea.

Maybe for you it’s line dancing. Or playing piano. Or puttering in the garden. Or playing laser tag with the cat. (What is it for you? I’m always looking for ideas to expand my repertoire.)

Whatever it is, try to do it on a daily basis, whether or not you feel you “need” it. If it feels like recovery, it’s too late. (That said, better late than never.)

Three Ways Weighless Can Change Your Life

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From the outside, the Weighless program probably looks like a weight loss program.

But it is so much more.

Every day we hear from our members that the skills and tools that they are learning aren’t just changing the number on the scale:

This work is changing the way they live and think, how they communicate with others, how they show up at work and with their families, how they understand their own motivations and behavior, even their goals for the future!

Here are a few of the ways that the Weighless program can change your life and not just the number on the scale.

#1. You will finally have your own back.

So often, when we struggle with our weight, it feels like we are literally at war with ourselves. We sabotage our progress. We make choices that know are moving us away from our goals. We are our own worst enemy. The worse we feel, the worse we treat ourselves.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are a just few of the notes of that we’ve gotten from our members:

“I have never felt so confident in my ability to take care of my own self and my own needs. It’s actually impacting several areas of my life and I am so so grateful. I have lost weight, but more important is the perspective, skills and confidence I have gained. For the first time in my whole life I don’t feel like I’m my own worst enemy. I’m proud of myself”  Zahra H.

“When I started the program, I was praying that I could get control over my food thoughts and choices. I was always thinking about what I was going to eat next. I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I felt like I had no control. Fast forward to today where the grocery store holds no fear for me thanks to this program. It has totally changed the way I think (or don’t think) about food. I routinely walk past food that once had so much power over me. Today I had a realization about how far I have come. I feel normal and not alone and for this I am truly grateful.”  Terri J.

“Instead of making food choices in order to lose weight, I’m now making decisions that improve my health So my resulting weight loss feels like a welcome side effect to my food choices. It’s a pro-health and pro-me approach to food and life. This non-diet, this Weighless approach, has been free from the backlash, setbacks, binge eating and guilt that has plagued me with diets.”   Gila G.

“I have benefited enormously from your program and especially the discussions, support system, encouragements and ideas from the group.  I have lost almost 10% fairly easily and have become a much more mindful and self aware non dieter.  I have found strengths I did not know I had. I never could have gotten here on my own and I am very grateful for your program.”  Fran W.

#2. Holidays and vacations will no longer be a source of dread and anxiety.

“Can I lose enough weight before we leave?”
“How much weight will I gain before its over?”
“How can I stick to my diet with all this temptation?”
“How can I enjoy myself if I’m trying to stick to my diet?”
“This will probably erase all the progress I’ve made and put me back at square one”

These are the kinds of thoughts that vacations and holidays often dredge up. To the point where you don’t even look forward to them anymore.  Again, from our members:

“Yesterday when I got home from being gone for the holidays, I stepped on the scale. I’m the same as when I left 2 weeks ago! A surprise, considering the haphazard schedule and occasional treats. Then it hit me. I’ve shed the yo-yo dieter skin. Last year and every previous year since God created the earth I’ve started some crazy new diet come the New Year. Not this year. I’m happy. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m on the path that will take me there. Thanks, everyone! Happy New Year!”   Beth G.

“I made a goal that I would not gain weight in December. I just got off of scale and am down 2.4 pounds! I ate cookies, participated in family events and a holiday party at work, and bypassed countless doughnuts at work, ‘weighing less’ on the last day of the month. Yay me and this wonderful program!”   Louanne S.

“One of my favorite things about this program is that I do not dread special events.  I’m not waiting to start a diet until all the planets align and there are no special events on the horizon.  I have navigated weddings, vacations and holidays without obsessing over food choices.”    Ellen L.

“I leave to visit my family in Ireland tomorrow. In the past, I would set myself up to fail by resolving to lose 10 or 15 lbs – usually in the 8 weeks prior to a trip like this. The weight loss never happens but the stress and anxiety and feeling of failure leads to the “what the hell” and then you gain a few more pounds!! I am glad to say that thanks to the changes I’ve made in this program, I have not been stressed and I feel  confident that I can enjoy my holiday without feeling deprived.”   Jackie L.

#3.  You’ll have more energy to deal with the rest of your life (not less)

When we’re not happy with our weight, it’s tempting to put other goals on hold until we solve that problem.  Which never gets solved. And so, life stays on hold. In the Weighless program, it’s exactly the opposite. Instead of everything staying stuck, everything starts to move in the right direction.

“The thing that amazes me most is how enjoyable this new lifestyle is. I don’t feel deprived, or like I’m having less fun (which is what I expected). If anything I feel more energetic and joyful. I would never have believed it 6 months ago.”  Kate T.

“Life has been been chaotic the last few months, but I discovered the Weighless principles work no matter what is happening, especially as they become a way of life. I’ve learned so much from Monica, Brock and all of the wonderful members of this group!”  Kathy M.

“Over the last two years, I have gone through some crazy health and family issues, I’ve gone through the mid-fifties dramatic hormonal changes, I’ve traveled a great deal, I’ve been through physical injuries that have limited activity. In the past, I would have easily added 20-30 lbs. Not any more!  I have discovered life in a whole new way. I am eternally grateful to Monica, Brock and our wonderful community for this journey of discovery.”   Manju S.

“The me that is emerging is calmer and more confident. I feel peaceful and easy about my Weighless future.  Nothing needs to be a big deal anymore. It’s very freeing! I think the best part is that a lot of these little philosophies are creeping into other areas of my life as well.”  Lisa C.

Gosh, I didn’t mean for this post to go on for so long! There are so many other things we could tell you about what it’s like to weigh less.  But hopefully, we’ve at least managed to convey that the Weighless program is more than a weight loss program.

If you’re looking for a permanent and proven solution, a chance to put dieting behind you forever, and to experience a completely new relationship with yourself, we would love to work with you.

Details on enrolling in our next year-long program are here.

Related:

8 ways to know if Weighless is right for you

Our curriculum

Stop hitting the pause button

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I just returned home from an 8-day business trip. If you travel for business, you know how that goes: your normal eating and exercise routines are thrown completely under the bus, you don’t have a lot of control over what and when you eat, the food is often richer and more indulgent than your usual fare, and you might be getting less sleep. All your healthy habits feel out of reach.

I used to just mentally hit the “pause button” when trips like this came up and resolve to get back to eating healthy when I returned.

The problem is that something was always coming up to prevent me from sticking to my healthy routines: A vacation. A special event. A huge deadline at work. A hospitalized parent. A friend in need. An unexpected guest. (Or, in this case, a stomach bug that hit the day after I returned.)

The truth is, my healthy habits were “on pause” a lot more than they weren’t. Because life.

I finally realized that the only way to live a healthy life was to figure out how to make healthy choices even when I was out of my normal routine.  Because it turns out that my idealized notion of what a healthy day includes (aka, my “normal routine”) doesn’t actually happen all that often.

So, instead of “hitting the pause button” during my business trip, I continued to make the healthiest choices I could. I realized I didn’t have to eat every time we took a snack break. I didn’t have to sample every dessert. I didn’t have to drink wine with every meal. I stood through presentations in the back of the room instead of sitting all day. I talked some folks into walking back from dinner instead of taking the shuttle van.

My point is, if all the conditions need to be perfect in order to lose weight, we’re not going to make much progress toward our goals.

So, the next time you’re tempted to hit the “pause” button, commit instead to making the best choices you can under the circumstances. Don’t wait for life to get back to normal. It won’t!

When are you most likely to hit the pause button? How could you navigate that situation as someone who weighs less?

What are you saying no to?

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What am I saying No to by saying Yes to this?

I love this question because it allows me to be a little more conscious of the trade-offs I am making.

If I’m just trying to decide whether or not I want dessert, the answer is always going to be Yes.  But if saying Yes to dessert means I’m saying No to weighing less, then I’m forced to consider which is worth more to me.

Similarly, by saying YES to working late. I’m also saying NO to working out.  Which is more important to me today?

By saying YES to a second glass of wine, I am probably saying NO to a sound night’s sleep.  (Alcohol definitely degrades my sleep quality.)   Which do I want more?

By saying YES when my sister calls and asks if I have time to chat, I’m saying NO to catching the news or taking a walk.  Often, that tradeoff is 100% OK with me.

Try this question out for yourself and see what you discover. Even if it doesn’t change your decision, I guarantee it will give you more insight into what you’re choosing and why.

 

 

Staying on track in the evenings

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Photo by Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

Do you ever feel like there are two versions of you?

There’s Morning You that’s totally committed to a healthy lifestyle. The you that makes a smoothie for breakfast, packs a salad for lunch, takes the stairs instead of the elevator, fills up your water bottle several times a day (from the furthest possible water cooler), and takes the dog for a longer-than-necessary walk before grilling fish and vegetables dinner.

And then there’s Evening You. The you that starts rummaging through the snack cupboard as soon as the dinner dishes are done. The you that just wants to relax in front of the tube with a bag of pretzels or bowl of ice cream. The you that wants another glass of wine, thank you very much, instead of a stupid cup of herbal tea.

The you that doesn’t care about eating healthy or losing weight. (Morning You can get back to that tomorrow…)

But it’s hard for Morning You to make much progress when Evening You basically undoes every good choice you’ve made in the first part of the day.

Here is a way to get Evening You more on board with the program

The Evening Ritual

You’ve heard of Morning Rituals but an Evening Ritual can be just as powerful.

A morning ritual helps you start the day on the right foot.  It might be a few minutes spent journaling or meditating, exercising, reading, or listening to a motivating podcast.  And that sends you into the day with a lot of positive momentum, making it easier to make good choices.

By the end of the day, that morning clarify and focus may feel very far away. You’re worn down and frazzled by the day’s challenges and motivation starts to slip. But you can refresh your intentions by taking a few moments at the end of the day or beginning of the evening to check back in with yourself and your goals.

Your evening ritual doesn’t have to be long or elaborate. It might be a ten minute session on your yoga mat, a few minutes reading something that inspires you, or even just sitting quietly, closing your eyes, and taking some deep breaths. Acknowledge the day’s successes. Let go of the day’s frustrations. Remind yourself what’s important. You’ll go into the evening feeling much more relaxed and in touch with what you want for yourself and from your evening.

(And tomorrow, Morning You will thank you.)

What sort of evening ritual can you create for yourself?  Where and when will it take place? What will it include? How will it conclude? Feel free to email us your thoughts, we’d love to hear them!

Move your body when you can this holiday season

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Time is tight during the holidays, and that may mean that you really do not have time to do your regular exercise minute routine.

Usually, I walk 15 minutes to the gym, do 40 minutes of throwing around something fun and heavy, and then walk 15 minutes home again. That is 70 minutes that I definitely will not have while I am prepping for holiday festivities and trying to maintain my status of “super cool uncle.”

But that does not mean I will throw in the towel and skip my movement practice altogether. I will simply do what I can with the time I have.

Here are a few things I plan to do and that you can also try.

  1. Turn errands and chores into exercise. This can be as easy to do as walking to the store with a couple of bags and a backpack to pick up the holiday meal ingredients or last-minute presents. Or it can be more involved, like adding some extra challenges to shovelling the walk. Personally, I like to alternate which hand I use on the shovel and also challenge myself to see how far I can throw the snow.
  2. Do some short movement breaks throughout the day when you have a few minutes. Burpees, jumping jacks, squat jumps and other full-body movements are great activities to pepper in when you don’t have much time but want to get your heart rate up. The key is to choose multi-joint and full-body movements to maximize the impact these short bursts of movement will have. If nothing else, get up 7 minutes early and do the Scientific 7-Minute Workout before you even say good morning to anyone.
  3. Turn outdoor fun into fitness. There are many great outdoor activities available to us at this time of year—and many of them can be turned into a real workout with a slight variation. For example: sledding. Sure you could watch the young ones go up and down the hill while you take pictures on your phone, but how about taking it to the next level by joining in and running up the hill each time instead of doing the traditional trudge. For bonus points, invite some kids to add some weight to your toboggan by giving them a ride up the hill. Use your imagination and make it fun!

When time is tight, focus on doing what you can, when you can, with as much of your body as you can. That is much MUCH better than doing nothing and crossing your fingers while waiting for Jan 1 to roll around.

Learn to indulge more extravagantly

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There are so many extra opportunities to indulge at this time of year.  As we’ve been talking about all month, the idea is not to completely avoid all the good things. But at the same time, if we indulge at every opportunity, it’s probably going to undermine our goals/progress.

Instead of trying to indulge less, learn to indulge more extravagantly.

Remember to tune into your entire sensory experience, not just the chewing and swallowing! Call to mind all of the pleasant memories that the sight of a special treat evokes for you. Remember times that you’ve enjoyed this treat in the past. Where were you? Who were you with?  Take a moment to enjoy the smell.  Let your mouth water a bit! Now, notice the way the aroma and texture contribute to your experience of the flavor.  Tune into the pleasure you get as that first bite hits your stomach.

Notice how your sensory experience is richest right before and during your first bites, and how it starts to fade as you continue to eat. When it’s no longer feeling special, stop. And then, take a moment to fully savor the experience you’ve just had. Instead of rushing through what feels like a guilty pleasure, claim it! Let it expand in time, space, and perception.  The more present you are with that experience, the more vivid, pleasurable, and satisfying the memory of it will be.

This holiday, I hope you will take the opportunity to have at least one peak treat experience. See how much more pleasure you can get when you choose your treats carefully and enjoy them fully.  And let this be your new holiday motto:

Only the good stuff. Just enough. Extravagantly enjoyed.

How not to backslide during the holidays

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Aaaand, here we are. As much as we may (or may not!) look forward to them, the holidays can wreak havoc on your healthy lifestyle. Parties and get-togethers every weekend. Tempting treats are everywhere we look. Schedules go into the blender.  (Workout? What workout?)

[Click here for your Healthy Holiday Tip sheet]

We tell ourselves that we will clean up our act on January 1st– but that can lead us to indulge even more recklessly.

The truth is that, over-indulging doesn’t actually enhance your enjoyment of the festivities.  Because the fifth Christmas cookie or third cup of eggnog doesn’t taste anywhere near as good as the first.

Plus, the anxiety about what it’s going to take to undo the damage come January 1st is never that far below the surface.

What if this year were different?

Wouldn’t it be nice to start 2020 off already feeling good instead of playing catch-up?  This year, instead of the usual New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, why not make a New Year’s Pre-Solution. We’re not talking about spending December on a diet or avoiding everything that makes this time of year special.

We’re talking about enjoying the holidays mindfully and to the fullest—and ringing in the New Year with no regrets.

Click here for your Holiday Tip sheet, with 8 completely do-able actions you can take to set yourself up for success in the weeks ahead.

Here’s to a healthy and happy holiday season!