If it’s not sustainable, it’s not success

Diets, cleanses and detoxes sell you on the promise of certain results:

  • Lose XX pounds in X weeks!
  • Flaunt a flatter stomach!
  • Drop a dress size!
  • Fit into your “skinny jeans”!

Sometimes they even deliver on those promises.  Follow a restrictive diet or intensive exercise regimen for a month or two and you probably will lose a bunch of weight.

But unless you’re prepared to keep on doing whatever you’re doing to lose the weight, there’s really no point. Because if that’s not sustainable, then neither is the weight loss.

That’s why we need to focus less on the promise and more on the process. Before you embark on a new program, ask yourself:

  • Will I actually enjoy eating (or exercising) this way?
  • Does it fit it into my schedule and life long term?
  • Would I be able to keep it up even during busy or stressful times?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, whatever success you have is likely to be short-lived.

Permanent success comes from sustainable habits.

What’s your best habit right now? Not a wish or a goal, but an actual habit–a behavior that you’ve succeeded in establishing as a long-term pattern? What sustainable result is it supporting?

How (and why) to hack your habitat

Research done in school cafeterias shows that making the lid of an ice cream cooler opaque reduces ice cream sales, while having a bowl of fruit by the cash register increases fruit sales.

But kids aren’t the only ones who are powerfully influenced by visual cues.

In the Weighless program, we work on tweaking our homes and workplaces in ways that make it easier and more automatic to make healthier food and movement choices. (We refer to this as “hacking our habitat.”)

For example:

  • Put fresh fruit, raw veggies, sparkling water, and other ready-to-grab healthy options in the front of the fridge at eye level.
  • Keep foods that you are likely to overeat out of sight–or better yet, out of the house altogether. It’s much easier to exercise your willpower once at the grocery store than consistently trying to exercise willpower every night while watching TV.
  • If your office break room is always full of donuts or other not-worth-it temptations, figure out fun ways to avoid going in there. Can you buy your afternoon coffee at a cafe instead of getting it from the break room? Can you fill up your water bottle at a water fountain by the restroom?
  • Keep a set of hand weights or resistance bands in a basket near the TV and use them while viewing.
  • Position your walking/running shoes so that you see them every time you open the closet.

If all of that seems too simplistic or obvious, you may be underestimating the power of behavioral economics.  Even the researchers who study these effects are subject to their influence!

In one study, a group of nutrition professionals attended a lecture in which they reviewed studies and watched video demonstrations showing that people eat more when they use larger bowls.

Immediately after the lecture, they attended a reception (which was actually part of the study). Sure enough, those who were handed larger bowls served themselves more ice cream than those who were given smaller bowls–and adamantly denied that the size of the plate influenced their consumption.

My point is that none of us is too smart to benefit from a little habitat hacking.

As you go through your week this week, look around your familiar environment with fresh eyes. See if you can think of any small changes that would support your healthy goals. Got a good one to share? Shoot us an email – we’d love to hear about it!

How to stop the guilt/deprivation cycle

We’ve been talking lately about the many choices that we get to make about what, whether, and how much to eat, and working on making these choices more intentional.  But I want to caution you against framing these choices in terms of Want vs. Should.

“I really WANT to have a bowl of ice cream. But I SHOULD say no.”

This is a lose-lose scenario!   If you give in and have what you want, you feel bad for not doing what you should.  And if you stick to your guns and do what you should, you don’t get to have what you want.

If this is how you are setting up your choices, your whole day becomes a depressing and exhausting series of decisions that either lead to guilt or deprivation.  Who wants to live like that?

As you’re considering what to choose, avoid loaded words like want, need, should, and shouldn’t. Focus instead on the fact that you have options, and that each option has pros and cons.

“I could have a bowl of ice cream. Or I could have a piece of fruit instead.”

“I can have ice cream tonight or I can look forward to that as a treat at the end of the week.”

“I can have two scoops or I can have one scoop.”

“I could eat ice cream until I feel better or I could take a walk and see if I can find a way through this feeling that doesn’t move me away from my goals.”

Consider what you get from each.  How much and what kind of satisfaction or pleasure would you get? How long will that last? (5 minutes? 10?) How will you feel after that? (Stronger? Calmer? Regretful?) How long will THAT feeling last? (A day? A Lifetime?)

Even the difference between saying “I get to make so many choices every day!” instead of “I have to make so many choices every day” can be so empowering.

This week, I invite you listen to your self-talk a little more carefully.  Instead of setting yourself up for a lose/lose situation, see if you can frame your choices in terms of which presents the more meaningful win.

The difference between losing weight and weighing less

If you’re not happy with your current weight, you probably spend a lot of time thinking about how to lose weight.

“I will eat 1200 calories a day.”

“I’ll ban all carbs.”

“I’ll drink protein shakes for breakfast and lunch.”

“I’ll do Whole 30. (Again).”

But these are not strategies that lead to weighing less. These are strategies that (sometimes) lead to losing weight, and then (usually) regaining it.

I want you to stop focusing on how you’re going to lose weight.  Instead, I want you to imagine that you weigh less right now. Really picture what that looks and feels like. And now, I want you to walk yourself through a typical day. What sort of habits and lifestyle does that version of you have?

For example, as a person who weighs less, you’d probably:

  • Limit your intake of sweets, refined carbohydrates, and fried foods. (Note: I didn’t say “never eat sweets, refined carbohydrates, or fried foods.”)
  • Avoid eating in front of the television or computer.
  • Eat more vegetables and fewer starches. (In other words, gravitate toward foods that fill you up for fewer calories.)
  • Take slightly smaller portions.
  • Stop at a single cocktail or glass of wine.
  • Have fruit for dessert—or no dessert, most of the time.
  • Drink water or tea instead of soda.
  • Make time most days for a 20-30 minute walk at lunch or before dinner, or both.
  • Take time on weekends to shop and do a little cooking so that you’re not as dependent on take-out and prepared foods to get you through the busy week.

The Secret is to Start at the Finish Line

Can you picture that trim, healthy person? Can you imagine what a typical day looks like? Can you see what’s on the dinner plate, shopping cart, and kitchen cupboards? Good.

Because that’s what I want you to start choosing right now.  Start practicing the mindset, habits, and lifestyle of someone who weighs less and you will become someone who weighs less. (Instead of someone who is constantly trying to lose weight.)

This is not some sort of law of attraction baloney. It’s pure (and proven) cause and effect.

So, who are you going to be today?

Collecting the Evidence

It’s frustrating to see how persistent our bad habits can be. Maybe it’s the 9 pm snacking free-for-all that happens every night.  Or your seeming inability to drive past the drive-thru on your way to work without pulling in. Or always succumbing to temptation and pouring that second glass of wine, despite your intention to stop at one.

Whatever it is, you can clearly see that this habit is standing between you and progress. But you can’t seem to change it. Day after day, despite your best intentions, you repeat the pattern, making you feel like a failure. It seems pretty obvious that you simply don’t have the ability (or will power or strength or resolve or whatever) to change this habit.

It’s hard to keep believing that change is possible when all the evidence seems to point to the contrary.  And that’s why it’s so important to collect some evidence that a different choice is possible.

If you have a long-standing habit that you want to change, not doing it for a single day is obviously not enough to undo years of daily reinforcement. But it is the beginning of showing your unconscious brain that change is, in fact, a possibility.

It’s not enough to know what we want to choose.  If you have a long-standing habit that is getting in your way, start by collecting some evidence that it is possible for you to make a different choice. Even once.

Choosing something else may be uncomfortable at first but will get more and more comfortable with practice. Also, remember that habits get momentum the more you practice them – both good and bad – so make sure you fuel the good ones and starve the unwanted ones.

Is your goal weight keeping you from weighing less?

I’ll bet you have a number in your head that represents your “goal weight.”  Whenever you start a new diet, that number gleams in the distance like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Other times, our goal weight seems more like a mirage in the desert…a tantalizing fantasy that we will never ever reach.

In fact, I think that darned number we’re all carrying around in our heads often keeps us from weighing less.

How your goal weight works against you

One problem with being overly focused on your goal weight is that it emphasizes the distance between where you are now and where you want to be, which gets defeating over time. It also reinforces the idea that life begins when you reach your goal weight. (And it had better be good, because life on a diet sucks!)

Today is too precious to throw away because of some number on a scale.

One of the principles we live by in the Weighless program is that it doesn’t matter where you are, as long as you are moving in the right direction.

And there are so many things you can do to start moving in the right direction. You can take a walk after dinner instead of having a second glass of wine. You can stop buying snack foods that call to you from the cupboard at night. (You won’t hear them hollering if they are still at the grocery store.) You can do some batch cooking this weekend so that you have some healthy meals in the fridge for the week ahead.

Small changes like this may seem too minor or insignificant to make a difference but, take it from me (and about 500 Weighless members), these small changes can lead to others, and it starts to add up.

So instead of focusing on your goal weight and feeling defeated, focus on the next small action you can take.

How to stick the landing

One our members recently shared a Weighless victory…followed by a stumble that many of us know all too well.  Do you recognize this pattern?

“I just got back from a trip to New Orleans. The last time we went it was a  disaster of gluttony and excess. I gained weight, and also felt horrible. This time, I vowed, would be different. I posted notes saying QUALITY NOT QUANTITY all over my house for the week before we left.  On the trip, I ate everything I wanted to but small amounts of the less healthy stuff and I felt fantastic when we got back. Even better, I weighed the same when we got home as when I left. I was feeling very proud of myself!

“But then totally fell apart after I got home: Bad choices, constant snacking. This is not the first time this has happened. I successfully navigate through a challenging time and then completely fall apart when it’s over.  Why do I do this?”

Can you relate?  I know I can!

Last year, for example, I spent a month producing two podcasts a week instead of my usual one. It was an intense push. But I was really motivated. I really wanted to create a bit of a buffer for myself so that if something came up (a professional opportunity, a family emergency, whatever) I would have more flexibility.

And I succeeded in getting myself four weeks ahead!  But then, over the course of the next three months, I proceeded to blow my lead.  A week would somehow slip by without me recording a new podcast.  Not because something important came up.  Simply because my vision (and therefore my plan) for success only extended to getting ahead. It didn’t include staying ahead.

Don’t blow your lead

As any gymnast or ice skater will tell you, training for (and visualizing) the jump always includes training for the landing.

I had a solid plan for how I was going to research, write, and record two podcasts a week.  I scheduled work sessions into my calendar and I stuck to them. Triple Salchow! The problem was that I failed to make any schedule for the weeks that followed.  As a result, I failed to stick the landing.

So let’s say you set an intention to get through the holidays or a vacation without gaining weight. (In the Weighless Program, we teach specific strategies for enjoying special occasions or getting through crunch times at work without sacrificing your progress.) You put together your plan. You execute it like a champ.

You’ve done the Triple Salchow. Now all you need to do is stick the landing.

If you see the last day of your vacation or a holiday season or crossing the finish line of that race as the end of your “challenge,” it’s easy for things to fall apart in the aftermath.

Instead, as you plan to navigate the challenge, include the week after the trip or event in that vision.  Have a couple of healthy meals in the freezer so that you have good options available when you get back.  Get out your calendar and schedule in some exercise for the week after you get home.  Make sure you get back into the rhythm of your regular healthy habits. Stick that landing!

What challenges or goals are you planning for right now? What’s the plan for sticking the landing?

Healthy weight vs. happy weight

A while back, I asked a group of people who were considering enrolling in the Weighless program about their experiences, beliefs, and goals relating to weight loss.

One of the questions I asked was, “How much do think you’d need to lose to be HEALTHY?” The next was, “How much do think you’d need to lose to be HAPPY?”

The responses were absolutely fascinating–and offer a lot of insight into why so many of us struggle.

Before you read further, why not answer those two questions for yourself:

In order to be healthy, I’d need to lose ____________

In order to be happy, I’d need to lose   ____________

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